Can a relationship that begins with fear be healthy? Conventional wisdom says no, because we have
in mind bullies, jealousy, and the insecurities of people who resort to
unmerited power to get their way. Human
beings have equal worth and dignity, all being made in the image of God, and we
should treat each other that way.
But what about our relationship with God? I was reminded of this in an outreach
conversation with a man named Ernest, who said he rejects any sort of
relationship with God in which he would be required to be in a position of
fear, and assumes that fear should have no place in a loving relationship with
Him.
But fear can be a healthy thing. A blind man walking toward a cliff should be
warned about what is in his path in the hope that the fear of the consequences would
turn him back. The cliff is what it is,
and we wouldn’t look down at the blind man for giving in to his fear of the
consequences of gravity as humiliating, or see the threat of certain death as an
oppressive manipulating tool on the part of the cliff. A healthy fear of the cliff brings the wise
decision to change directions.
We run into problems when we look at God the same way we do
other human beings. God is the source of
authority, and no one has the right to assume that authority to accomplish
their own purposes except God Himself and anyone He delegates it to. We are wise to respect it. The fear is that this authority will hold us
accountable, with a just punishment directed against us. Hopefully we learn to respect this authority,
beginning with obeying our parents or other guardians, respecting the laws of
nature, submitting to church and government authority, and of course obeying
God.
There are many references to the wisdom of fearing God,
especially in the Old Testament. While
talking to Ernest I explained how it is wise to obey God in the same way as my
cliff example above. Just as gravity
doesn’t change, neither does it’s Creator, so we are wise to heed the many
warnings – not empty or idle threats, that we find in the Old Testament. Proverbs 15 ends with this wise advice – “Wisdom’s
instruction is to fear the Lord, and humility comes before honor.”
Lest we think the Son was any different from the Father, one
of the strongest warnings comes from Jesus in the pages of Luke Ch.12: “I will
show you whom you should fear: Fear him who, after your body has been killed,
has authority to throw you into hell. Yes, I tell you, fear him.” God doesn’t change. He is what He is. He will punish sin either through the punishment
of hell or through the punishment Jesus endured on the cross. Both His justice and His love are perfect,
and we have the opportunity to move from a fearful to a loving relationship
with our heavenly Father.
1 John 4:18 tells us that “There is no fear in love. But
perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one
who fears is not made perfect in love.”
A relationship that begins with fear doesn’t have to end there. But fear can’t be driven out by love if the
fear isn’t there in the first place.
PS – You are welcome to “sit in” on my conversation with
Ernest. It’s on YouTube HERE
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