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Why are we told to "honor thy Father and Mother"?

3/14/20            Lucius

I used to wonder why “Honor thy father and mother” is one of the Ten Commandments, just as important as “Do not kill” and Do not steal” and the rest.  Especially as there are some parents who give no reason for their rules other than “Because I said so!”


But maybe that’s exactly the point.  Our parents were older and so much wiser than we were as little children.  They knew that following their rules could at times mean the difference between life and death, yet they also knew there would be times when they wouldn’t have time to explain the reasons for their rules, or that the reasons would be too complicated for our developing brains to comprehend.  They weren’t perfect people, but God gave most of us caring parents for our well-being, and He put them in their position of authority for our benefit.

How much more do God’s rules matter to our well-being, and we need to learn them to the point where obedience becomes automatic and part of our character.  We often won’t have time to ask “why?” or we simply won’t be able to understand God’s infinite wisdom and reasoning if He told us.  There are many good reasons for obeying God that benefit us personally, but ultimately it goes beyond personal benefit and “what’s in it for me?” and has more to do with glorifying God for who He is.  God is the only one who can truly and rightly say “Because I AM says so”.
I bring this up because of a conversation with a man named Lucius, who seemed incredulous that a loving God would dare to give him rules to follow and consequences for breaking them.  He didn’t have the benefit of loving and consistent parents who taught him to follow their rules because of their authority, and the auntie who raised him brought him to a very legalistic church, so I wasn’t too surprised that he has rejected God’s authority as he has. 

To get to the root of his rebellion against God’s authority, I asked Lucius what he thought of the story of the temptation in the Garden of Eden.  Did God have the right to give Adam just one rule, not to eat from just one tree?  Lucius saw it as God setting Adam up for failure, and couldn’t understand why a loving God would do such a thing.  I asked if he would give mankind rules if he were God.  He would and they were surprisingly strict.  Would he have consequences to those rules?  Yes, and he agreed that rules don’t really make much sense or carry much weight unless there are some consequences for breaking them.

Maybe “honor thy father and mother” (or at least whatever benevolent authority God has put in our lives) is one of the most important commandments of all, for through it we learn how to follow the rest.  Maybe there’s a reason that it’s the only commandment with a promise: “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”  (Eph. 6:1-3)

By  learning to honor our parents authority, we learn to respect the authority of other adults, teachers, police, employers, government, and ultimately, God.  We do our homework, stay in school, stay out of jail, we keep our jobs, we pay our taxes, and we become honorable adults that can help the next generation learn to obey authority. 

Of course there is something to be said for using common sense to determine which authority figures are not acting in our best interest, but the general principal remains.  Learning to honor and obey God begins with learning to honor our parents, and we need to have patience and understanding with those who weren’t blessed with loving parents to teach them these valuable lessons.


Thanks, Lucius, for allowing me to record our conversation!   It can be see HERE at https://youtu.be/uF4x2odAMiM

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