6/21/19 Meisha (see video HERE)
Other than looking for people who likely have time for a
conversation, I don’t get to choose whom the Lord gives me to talk with as I
try to initiate gospel conversations on the street. Neither do we get to choose who walks into
the doors of our churches on a given Sunday morning. So are we ready to receive whomever that
might be in love, even if that might mean tough love?
I don’t notice a lot of details about the people I talk
with, especially at first, but I was surprised when the person with the heavy
facial hair I was speaking with said his name was “Meisha”, which I always
understood to be a woman’s name. I was
ready for a conversation about his religious beliefs, but right away Meisha
wanted to talk about his experiences with sexual identity growing up, and
understandably so because it greatly affected his understanding of God and
church.
Meisha grew up as a girl with same-sex attraction and
masculine tendencies. With the help of
hormones, he began to transition to a male identity three years ago, at the age
of 20. I will refer to him here using
male pronouns, since that was my first impression and he eventually wants to be
thought of and referred to as male.
Meisha described a childhood of rejection and being bullied
for being a girl with masculine tendencies, to the point of a serious suicide
attempt by hanging at 17 years of age, and from which he believes God
miraculously rescued him. Now, at age
23, he doesn’t believe the Bible to be an accurate rendition of God’s word, so
he has felt the need to decide spiritual truth for himself and favors a belief
in “some sort of higher being” and reincarnation after we die. He doesn’t attend church, but overall has a
positive impression of Christians and graciously refuses to lump all Christians
in the same category as the few negative and condemning individuals he has
encountered.
I was wondering what Meisha bases his identity on. Does he buy into the “identity politics” of
our day and see himself primarily as a member of an oppressed minority
group? One thing I think we both
strongly agreed upon was Martin Luther King’s admonition to identify people
according to the content of their character rather than the color of their skin
or other outward characteristics. And
what I found in Meisha was a strong, confident character who refuses to be a
victim, who refuses to blame God or others for his problems, and who works to
overcome obstacles and difficulties in life with a positive attitude and a “can
do” spirit.
I try to avoid labels, but I would identify myself as an
“ultra-conservative” in the sense that, as conservatives want to return to the
values and standards of an earlier time, I want to go way, way back and return
to the relationship we as humans had with God before the fall. I would echo Jesus’ prayer that “thy kingdom
come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven” and say that my hope as a
Christian is that all people could know the loving and intimate relationship
with God lost and broken by sin.
We are all sinners in need of redemption and peace with God,
and that would include Meisha. So,
although I had a lot of questions about his experiences as a transsexual, I
didn’t want that to be the focus of our conversation just as I don’t believe it
should be the focus of one’s identity.
We went on to talk about gospel truths - including hard and difficult
ones such as sin, judgment, and hell – and we were able to do it in a
respectful and good natured way for several reasons:
One, I am thankful for the strength of Meisha’s character;
his confidence, desire to learn, openness to new ideas, humility, and his
ability to talk about opposing viewpoints without feeling threatened,
triggered, attacked or personally offended.
Two, as a Christian I see my own conversion and salvation as
entirely a miraculous gift of God.
Although I definitely want that for everyone and want to share that, I
also recognize it is a work of the Holy Spirit.
I feel privileged in the possibility that I might participate in God’s
work in the lives of people I talk with, but in the end it is God’s work and I
feel no pressure to “get results”. This
trust and dependence on the Holy Spirit frees me up to have open, honest, and
even joyful conversations with people from any sort of background or belief.
Third, both Meisha and I understood that active listening –
the head nods, the verbal encouragement, the questions – does not necessarily
mean we are agreeing or buying into what the other person is saying. I believe we were truly having the
conversation to understand one another and to be understood, without one side
winning and the other losing. It wasn’t
a debate; it was a win for both of us.
So Church, can you have conversations like this at your
local gathering of believers with the outsiders who step in your doors every
now and then? Are you ready to make the
stranger feel welcome and loved? Are you
ready to have these kinds of conversations in the streets and in the
marketplace? My heart’s desire and
prayer is that more Christians will take those first awkward but faithful steps
in that direction.
(Thanks Meisha, for allowing me to record our
conversation! We talked for well over an
hour, but unfortunately my camera battery died at 35 minutes.) The video can be seen on my YouTube channel HERE
at https://youtu.be/J_T4x_tUX6s
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